That one time when I became a Cougar ……
As a single 30-something female, the dating scene can be a little sparse. If he’s isn’t married, then he’s in a serious relationship, or divorced with no intention of being in a serious relationship. At my age, the idea of casual sex is not too appealing. I am looking for stability; someone to compliment my lifestyle; preferably, someone who is intellectually, socially and spiritually compatible with me. To this end, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and just leave myself open to whatever possibilities there are. I decided to waive the race and age card and leave myself fully ready to embrace HIM; whoever HE is. Many studies have proven that women are more sexual in their 30’s and can I tell you how true this is! It takes nothing for me to be ready for a good bout of sex. I realized that whoever HE was, HE had to be able to perform sexually with minimum enhancements.
This is where my cougar lifestyle began. HE was seven years younger than me and claimed HE was ‘mature’ and loved older women. Knowing the stigma surrounding these types of relationships, I was a little cautious, as we know that ‘sugar mamas’ do exist and I was not about to be one of those. Whether he thought it was a financial benefit or not, I cared zero, I was actively seeking a partner and if HE didn’t fit the bill, HE was going to be history. We dated and as the relationship progressed, I realized that I was not being fair to myself. HE was the one showing off about me – the great catch; however, the feeling was not mutual as I felt like I was compromising out of desperation. HE certainly was not a great catch.
The sex was out of this world but that was it! My exposure to the world has made me somewhat of a conversation connoisseur.
I craved arguments involving politics, religion and random stuff that happened in the early 90’s. Striking up a conversation with HIM was not stimulating. Compromising my true self for a great sex wasn’t cutting it as this eventually left a void which couldn’t be filled. Not to mention, the side eyes I received from my friends when we went out. All of that didn’t bother me as much as our lacking compatibility. I allowed sex to rule for a little while but then it fizzled out and I vowed never to date another youngling unless we were at least intellectually compatible.I know that some of you have had experiences with younger men or older women, let’s continue the conversation below. This is just the beginning of the conversation so feel free to add your two cents below and let’s make a dollar.
Onome was last seen having a likkle Rum and Ting with a splash of lime juice.
By, Onome Sido